Numb

"Trying to run away is never the answer to being fully human. Running away from the immediacy of our experience is like preferring death to life.”― Pema Chödrön

Pain and other negative emotions are far from pleasant or comfortable feelings. Our most common responses to it is "How do I stop feeling this way?" or "How do I fix it?". When we focus on not allowing ourselves to feel our feelings we begin the process of disconnecting from our hearts. We may notice this by being very active and involved with life and others but not feeling "really there". Or when really asking ourselves how we feel we struggle to find an answer.

We're not really sure how we feel. Everything feels a little dulled and numb.

There are countless ways to numb ourselves and the costs in the immediacy don't seem high.  

When we're not fully aware of our feelings we start to live from a place that may be far from what we really think, feel and need. We're not fully experiencing anything really. We may begin to base choices that are based on shoulds, guilt, fear, or addiction which could lead to painful self-betrayals.

I don't really feel anything fully. I'm not sure how I really feel. How did I get into this relationship? Why did I stay in this relationship? Why am I really doing this? Why did I say yes/no to this?

What if we felt our feelings painful or positive? What if grieving and negative emotions weren't meant to be fixed but were apart of the larger experience of living.

Allowing ourselves to feel it all ironically actually allows us to feel period.